Dr. Elison author of “Women’s Sexualities” emphasizes the importance of transition as a key to better sex.
It is the ability to move from one moment to the next – to fall and rise together and separate and rejoin effortlessly.
It is an interaction where one thing leads to another in a natural flow that leads to successive levels of better and better sex.
A prerequisite for better sex through the mastery of transitions is one were couples are open to discovery and learning and committed to expanding sexuality.
When a couple engages in sex as learners, they can avoid expectation failure!
Expectations or assumptions can literally kill a moments passion – how often have you heard
“…But I thought you like that, Honey”.
How did you feel when your partner spoke to you like that?
The implicit message in such a message is that “you are an object to be manipulated”. It sets up a mindset of right and wrong which leads to performance anxiety – the results is unsatisfying sex.
With a slight change of focus towards a learning mindset you can turn the same moment into a a fiery moment of passionate.
Imagine the same moment, but your partner says “How does that feel honey?”.
The statement is focused on you! You feel good, and your partner feels good that he is pleasing you.
It sets up a mindset of better and better sex.
Good learners are good lovers!!
The key is the ability to continually flow through the 3 R’s:
to what your partner needs now – not what they liked before!